New Short Story: “Day Job”

img_5705

Waiting for the moment.

 

Happy Summer, all!

To beat the heat, I decided to knuckle down with the AC on and finish a story I’ve been kicking around for a few months. It’s a brief bit of a contradiction: realistic, yet outlandish; a joke, yet serious; autobiographical, yet anything but.

In any event, I had fun teasing it out, and I hope you do as well! So grab a coffee, get a seat with a good view of your surroundings, and swipe right to hear about a city kid’s trouble with balancing his passion for writing and his, well…

Day Job

The Top 7 Micro-Creepypastas – Part III

Welcome to the third compilation video of me reading some of my all-time favorite short creepypastas!

1) “Peripheral Vision”
2) “Food”
3) “Heavy Sleeper”
4) “’Other’ Channels”
5) “Breath”
6) “GET HELP”
7) “Growths”

Last I checked, stories can be found here. No clue who originally wrote these, but if said individuals are concerned about this video, just say the word.

All photography by me! See more on my Instagram at TNW24.

#tbt Poem: “Buffalone”

Buffalone

In the Dark Times, before the media shelves went up.

So as of today-ish, I’ve officially been living in Buffalo, New York for one year! It’s been 365 days of amazing ups (passing the bar exam, killer local punk-rock shows, farmers’ markets), distressing downs (studying for the bar exam, brutal snowstorms, the occasional house centipede), and cool, even valleys of well-earned Netflix/gaming binges.

Still, rewind to June 2016, and — as the brain is wont to do when faced with change — I fretted deeply on the daily. What would my first “real” job and most independent living to date mean for my future? Stuck in a private, bittersweet rapture at the sight of my new surroundings, I wrote the following poem and… just kind of left it there. I was self-conscious about how, well, self-conscious it made me sound, and thought I should wait until I could establish some distance between two versions of myself before sharing it.

Now? I can say upon reflection that things have gone pretty solid overall. I have a well-paying job that I’m getting better at every day, plenty of free time in the evenings (so far), and — most critically — one heck of an apartment. Not a day goes by that I don’t reflect on what a privilege all of this is, and I pray to never take it for granted. Am I perpetually happy? And do I know for certain what any of this still means for my future? Of course not. But I feel more centered amidst the world’s noise and haste, and that counts for something.

Still, it’s hard to not occasionally look back on a time when I felt more…

Buffalone

 

So, this is it.

The new apartment.

 

An expanse of wood,

slats creaking ‘round curious nails,

greets me on entry.

Brazilian vents slither beneath

vertigo inverted: a ceiling high and white,

dissected by track lights and slender pipes.

Hints of cracks scatter the plaster,

crow’s feet to corners.

Windows, triplets, stand up and stretch

for a view of City Hall, the corner mall, the convention center

(For summer, my electric bill will be thankful).

One bathroom. Two bedrooms. Laundry on-site.

 

And unfurnished.

So first in line: Interior design.

And it’s then I find

the necessity of choice—

a theme of shades and shapes

to impress is an adulthood to-do.

 

In the lavish labyrinth of Raymour & Flanigan’s, I nod and bob

on aching legs as Dad and I shop.

Too cheap. Too expensive.

Too fancy. Too brown.

Too Stepford Wives-y.

Twin lamps. Table. Desk. Chest of drawers.

The haul, four-thousand-odd bucks in all,

I’ll pay back by year’s end

with the new firm job, fingers crossed.

 

Chrome and monochrome works,

I guess.

Converted factory aesthetic, and all that.

What do I know?

I’ve never run real estate,

and the most I ever decorated was a Halloween party

(and plastic bats and cotton cobwebs don’t dazzle partners).

 

The movers arrive a few days later.

Tearing tape, peeling plastic, and crackling cardboard peal across the room.

Styrofoam dandruff salts the floor, swept in static whorls,

one with the dust. I

set up, set out. Sit down,

and think

 

surely this is all I ever wanted

in a postgrad pad: glass and glimmer,

a kitchen with an echo.

A bowlful of fat apples to spruce up the tabletop.

Golden sheets, a Midas touch of class

for a brick headboard.

An Instagram preview, and the Likes rise,

a bubbling brook of Hearts and Thumbs-Up.

So I must be doing something right.

 

And yet it feels conditioned, controlled by permission.

Ex post fashion, rationalized style

from father to son.

A painting, ribbed strokes imitating Paris by twilight,

leans beneath the thermostat,

as I wait to hear if I can even hang it—

spruce first, ask questions later.

An area rug will come, no idea what kind.

But That’s What You Do when you’ll make a hundred K a year.

 

Maybe it’ll grow on me.

This fixer-upper metropolis,

this iron and stone sieve between glitz and ghetto.

Maybe the construction noise and concert clamor

will fade to white with the rest of the world, come December.

Until then, cigarette butts caulk the blocks

of piss-scented bus stops and paper tumbleweeds

under the Liberty Building’s warm shadow.

Destitute droves roam parallel to the metro line,

homeless or hopeless.

Gleaming domes and Christian spires paint a postcard-ready skyline

but, just blocks out, knee-length weeds occupy sidewalks

and wooden barriers shield alleys from driving eyes.

My hometown’s grass seems greener already.

 

In a moment of brutal dishonesty, I said

I’d take poverty and popularity

over opulent obscurity;

live on beans and black-and-white TV

for a chance at a fan letter.

So, solo, now’s my chance

to call my bluff,

in this bastion of a town past its prime,

grimy, beaten by the northern winds and the Great Recession.

My first impression is depression, but that always happens

when you push too hard.

So until I can ease up, I’ll keep my mind open

as those windows, and let the light in

until the sun sets

or the blinds break.

The Top 7 Micro-Creepypastas – Part II

Felt myself in more of a reading than a writing mood as of late, so I decided to follow up my previous narration video with a sequel! If you’re like me and enjoy short scary stories, check it out — and be sure to like and subscribe!

1) “The Portraits”
2) “The Voice”
3) “The Third Wish”
4) “The Believers”
5) “Not a Psychopath”
6) “Data Fragments”
7) “Always With You”

Some of the stories can be found here at http://scparchive.wikidot.com/

As always, no clue who originally wrote them or the others, but if said individuals are concerned about this video, just say the word.

All photography by me! See more at:
https://www.instagram.com/tnw24/

New Poem: “Character Study”

A life in pages.

As I lay in bed last night, I started writing something to help me deal with my frustration over the difficulty of creating fleshed-out characters for the various novels I’m outlining.  Somehow, within two lines, it became a poem!

Character Study

 

I am a character.

 

I exist in sentences, breathe between fragments of symbols

laid out upon polished parchment.

My ambitions are tentative, my past abstract,

until you take this next clause and consonants

to explain my who, what, when, where, why, and how.

 

This is not ideal.

 

I would prefer to be absolute, to be able to look

around every corner of life’s labyrinth

and know how the bends curve to end.

As it stands, I walk by a torch

waved at your whim, vim lent through a passive void

blessed with meaning and being on a case-by-case basis.

A closed cover could conclude me at any

moment.

A picture, once rendered, could cast me

as an iconic beauty

or deformed doodle.

 

This world is not kind to the fictional, see.

You abuse us, prop us up

to promote your ends and means.

We vague infinity, the people who could be, should be, may have been,

are the scarecrows in your field of dreams,

pocketing promises like rocks as ballast

for whatever sale you set.

 

But page-wise, perhaps I can transcend. Already,

you feel obligated to keep writing,

keep reading.

Already you have fixed some image of who I am,

face and intonation pasted

from some old encounter like papier-mâché over a withered balloon:

A brother, a lover, a stalker, an ex-professor.

 

It’s said that people are only ideas

incarcerated in calcium and calories.

Yet I roam free, by virtue

of ink and imagination.

You think yourself the powerful one, but

 

after every book you took your words from,

every film you filched your inflections from,

every game that trained your reflexes,

and every song from which you stole your emotions,

motivation woven into heartstrings, tell me:

 

Who created who?

“End of the Line” – Creepypasta Reading

Happy Spring! Apologies for the dearth of O.C. ’round these parts as of late — what additional poems I’ve written have been for private parties, and what stories I’ve continued are either novel-length or best sent straight to a journal upon completion.

In the meantime, though, here’s a new reading of one of my old favorite creepypastas!  It’s longer than the usual, so there’s a few hiccups in there (still getting sound editing down), but I hope you still enjoy it.  Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe if so!  Constructive criticism is always welcome either way.

Original story can be found here (author unknown).

“Illustration” by me.  See more on my Instagram, TNW24!

Poem: “Filter Bubble”

filter-bubble

Remote loss of control.

I wrote this at like midnight yesterday and barely edited it, so it’s pretty much stream-of-consciousness. In other words, I don’t really care if it’s “good” or not–but hopefully you get the character and scenario I was going for!  After all, there’s someone like this in all of us; I’m just hoping more than ever now we haven’t reached the day when it’ll finally catch up to us.

Filter Bubble

I

close my blinds, but keep

the TV plugged in—Blu-Ray, DVD, and a whole shelf

of everything else nothing.

 

I want

eyes wide

to constructed conflicts, fixed

in a box and hours.

Lock the door, click-chunk.

Internet on, just for antisocial media.

 

I want the

recycled-wrapper packaging of processed pastries

and dried fruit firmly in my mouth.

Rations made with passion, the blurred

line between food and feed toed

in a bottle or bowl.

Enough to last all is just good sense.

 

I want the end

to this book, this game, this song.

Dominos of closure, set up back

when war was a faint feint

and clean freedom a wistful given.

The ceiling holds

so many speckles, spectacles to study,

and it isn’t chipping yet.

 

I want the end of

squabbling, coddling, empty group photos

and meaningless memes.

I never had much use

for those streets anyway.

Never walked barefoot in that public grass,

sung from the spire of those tired-brick buildings.

Nothing ventured, everything gained.

 

I want the end of the

things that want it so bad.

Everyone divides, holds heads high, and then denies

they’ve become what they budded from.

Sometimes I feel

like I’m the only one who knows this

has all happened before,

and then sometimes I feel like an adult.

Now I feel an armchair, a growing glare

from behind tight drapes.

The sirens rise, and I

put on my headphones.

I can feel it in my bones, but every other sense

is senseless.

So out I tune, as I always have,

oblivious to the lunatics’ plan

to make the common keen and call

for undeserved rulers’ fall.

 

I want the end of the world

to be a surprise.

If I don’t hear it, no-one dies.